Screw viewing recorded iCarly episodes on lazy Sunday afternoons. I’m going to watch the scrumdiddliumtuousness unfold TONIGHT. Yes, Freddie, it’s so so good.

Ladies and gentlemen, I feel like I’ve won the SEDDIE LOTTERY.

They said it wouldn’t happen. Or if it did, not so damn early in the series. So nanner nanner big raspberry to the Debbie Downers aka non-Seddie shippers, because the dreams of every ardent Seddie fan are finally becoming a reality.

Blessed be the Technicolor tween magazines. Tiger Beat has dished on an upcoming Seddierific episode (not “iReunite w/Missy” as it turns out) where Sam and Freddie get down and dirty. I mean, where they share a nice age appropriate kiss. If you haven’t seen the scans, click on the links below provided by the absolutely  wonderful ColorsofTheSky101. Warning: side effects of the following scans may include  jaw dropping, fist pumping, rabid screaming, uncontrollable trembling, Michael Jordan-esque leaping, and/or similar explosive displays of madness.

Weep with joy: Nathan and Jennette discuss their first onscreen kiss

“We did the scene four times!” So why dontcha show it to us four times?

And it gets better. Screen captures of the K-I-S-S

The headline, “Our First Kiss”–with “Kiss” appropriately in large hot pink font–had me thinking this was the deed of some crafty Photoshopper. Then it started to sink in. Before I could get through the first sentence, I was running away from my computer and SKIPPING through the kitchen, alternating between gasps of, “Ohmygod, ohmygod” and glass-shattering shrieks. Thank goodness no one was home. You know when you take a bite of a sundae, and it’s soooooo good that it’s almost too much? Yeah, that’s me and these scans. I needed to take them in increments, stopping to do the ole skip-n-scream every few seconds.

Not me, but pretty much what I looked like.

Jennette and I are simpatico. Actually, Jennette and the rest of Seddie fandom are simpatico. I love how she was “freaking out” when she got to the last page of the “iKiss” script because it pretty much sums up the current mood of Seddie fandom. I also like how Nathan says, “We’re going to kiss each other but we’re arguing while we do it.” Perfect. Exactly the way I imagined it to be. Except, judging by the screen capture above, when it’s time for the actual lip lock, all arguments cease.  And that bring me to my last favorite part of the interview; Nathan calls it “a tender scene showing [Sam and Freddie's] vulnerability to each other”. Time for the collective awwwww. Yes, this is why Seddie is so fan-freakin’-tastic. You’ve got two social misfits coming together and evolving. Plus it’s just so darn cute. 

Sam looks a little startled. Perhaps she’s shocked to realize Freddie is indeed one sexy beast.

How uncanny! SarcasticLeaves predicted the way it would all go down. 

Now it’s time to muse about the specifics. How long? Will there be an annoying “ooooooo” from the “audience”? Will Sam close her eyes as she gets into it? Judging by the pic, it all looks pretty chaste. Not a French kiss by any means. Kind of reminds me of Corey and Topanga’s first kiss. (That’s a Boy Meets World reference for all you younguns’.) In fact, Corey had the same open-eyed, startled expression Sam seems to have. And if you watched Boy Meets World, you know how their relationship turned out. Wedding bells, anyone?

Oh, almost forgot. After reading the article a second time, I had a big chuckle over this: 

JENNETE. I have to kiss Nathan!

JENNETTE’S MOM. Oh…I’m sorry. 

You can find the Seddie-rific picture shown below here.  I’m going to call it right now–that shot was taken during “iReunite with Missy”. How do I know? Because I’m an omniscient Seddie shaman, remember?? All kidding aside, my clue came from this Youtube interview where Jennette McCurdy reveals Sam’s sad and “sitting in a corner” after Carly reunites with her old bff. Nathan Kress deems “iReunite with Missy” one of his favorite episodes that he’s worked on so far; and you know why…because it’s all intense and dramatic and…Seddie-ish?

We know you ship Seddie, Nathan. Check out the interview below for more confirmation.

So if you’ve been following Seddie as thoroughly as I have, you know about the recent Starry Constellation magazine interviews with Nathan Kress and Jennette McCurdy. Welp, hold onto your hat folks, because I just found out that they’ve put up the actual recordings of these interviews. You can now literally hear Nathan talking about the possibility of Seddie. Check it out:

Nathan’s phone interview

The emphasis in his voice when he says, “Sam and Freddie,” around 3:05 makes me squeal like a giddy schoolgirl with little hearts drawn in her eyes. And be sure to check out Jennette’s charming interview. Her talk about character growth harks back to the theory we’ve been kicking around ’bout when Seddie can happen (see the Q&A at the bottom of the entry below for a refresher). Also, when she mentions not dumbing the show down for kids, it instantly made me think of all the underlying adult humor we relish in iGabbing about.

As my brother Matt used to say, the rest of season two sure sounds “hella exciting”.

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY
Image heavy. If you have a slow connection, come back in a minute after everything loads.

SYNOPSIS
The gang go to Tokyo to attend the iWeb Awards. Spencer and Mrs. Benson tag along– y’know, adult supervision–and they end up taking a cargo plane full of possums (possi?) and parachuting out. No time to sightsee afterwards because their trophy-hungry Japanese webshow competitors pull a fast one, leaving the kids stranded and covered in mud and the adults trapped by seaweed on masseuse tables. Spencer eats himself out, frees Mrs. B, and off they go to find the younguns via a lojack-like chip Mrs. Benson had installed in Freddie’s head. Next obstacle: immovable Japanese security guards outside the award show building. When Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Spencer finally do manage to sneak in thanks to Mrs. B’s toupee stealing distractions, they’re caught and confined to a utility room by the non-English speaking security guards. Luckily Freddie has his high-def camcorder and can make sense of the wires in the room, so while Sam and Carly play charades with the guards, he records and streams the girls’ performance live to the audience viewing the iWeb Awards. The British guy who orchestrated the awards finds the gang, lets them out, and of course, iCarly takes home the trophy.

THE GOOD

Invite to Japan
• I like how Sam says to Freddie, “Click on it, boy!” to accept the evite to Japan. Now all we need is for her to add “friend” to the end of that imperative sentence.

• Sandwiched between an apple hurled at Freddie’s face and chocolate pudding spattered on Freddie’s face—courtesy of Sam who loves putting food on Freddie’s face almost as much as she loves food—is an adorable Seddie high-five. How I loves me some Freddie and Sam skin on skin action. The gleeful triumph they exhibit should play in all Seddie shippers’ minds when Seddie becomes a reality.

Peep Hole
How disturbing is it that Freddie peers through his peephole, waiting for Carly to get home? Creepy enough that I can’t really dig the whole Carly and Freddie pairing. On the other hand, how awesome is it that Sam knows Freddie’s standing behind his door? Carly thinks Freddie outgrew this, but Sam, ever so perceptive to the ways of the Fredster, scoffs before slamming the peephole. Bingo. Freddie comes out flustered. Sam really knows Freddie. How I relish in that thought.

Carly’s back to you Freddie, literally and metaphorically. Wake up and smell the blondie!

Give Up on Carly
As if Sam’s little pep talk on hope couldn’t get any better, she turns to Freddie and more or less tells him to get past Carly. Move on…to blonder pastures perhaps? Freddie responds with what’s probably a look of discontent, but in my mind it’s Sam-induced confusion.

Sam’s Messy Hair

Her hair looks super cute after jumping out of the plane. The makeup department should make her windblown, voluminous hair her permanent look.

Freddie is Way Into Sam’s Butt
Oh, hey, Freddie. You want to take a turn on the swings? You’re gonna go for the swing that Carly just sat on a minute ago, right? No? You want the swing that Sam was mashing her gluteus maximus on? Of course you do.

When they’re watching the painfully unfunny Japanese webshow and laughing along with painfully fake laughter, there was a bright light in the red beanbag chair Seddie proximity. It would’ve been even better, of course, if they had shared the beanbag.

And who could forget the antibacterial underpants and I-heart-Las-Vegas bickering? “Don’t you feel all confident wearing your antibacterial underpants?” Sam provokes. “At least my underwear doesn’t have ‘I heart Las Vegas’ written across the butt,” retorts Freddie with added emphasis on “butt”. Given that the two pretty much shared lodgings for the nights with a door connecting the two hotel rooms, I have a feeling the underwear was spotted en route to the bathroom. Someone needs to do a fanfic on that moment if it hasn’t been written already. I envision lots of mad blushing. Someone needs to do a fanfic on a lot of moments in this movie, including what went down in their hotel rooms when the lights were dimmed.

THE BAD –i.e. naughty, with plenty of mature content ahead

Ready, Okay!
The webshow stuff usually doesn’t do much for me. I prefer the antics over on iCarly.com much better (“Wake Up Spencer” comes to mind). That said, Sam looks surprisingly good in a cheerleading outfit during the space cheerleader bit. I have a feeling that if her character dressed more girly—which I hear they’re planning on doing in an upcoming episode—she’d be one hot tamale, taking too much of the spotlight off ole Carls.



Flexible Sam
Sam buffs dead skin off her heel, but does it in her usual irreverent manner. Her impressive flexibility got me thinking…No, wait, I’ve got to stop thinking dirty things when I watch this show. It’s going to get me in trouble.


“Bad” Sam
I applaud the writers’ decision to amp up Sam’s badass level. She steals handcuffs. She runs from cops. She calls Mrs. Benson one “mess of a woman” to her face. (I’d love to see the overprotective Mrs. Benson meet the lax Mrs. Puckett. Oh, the possible hilarity!) And she can flip sparring Japanese webshow hosts as well security guards. You know Freddie wouldn’t have to sleep with a nightlight if he had Sam to protect him. Talk about deliciously yin and yang.


Jammies
I can’t get over how cute Sam and Freddie are together, so the adorableness quotient just went through the roof when I saw them in their jammies during their hotel stay.

Now fanfic writers can describe what Sam and Freddie wear when they spoon in bed.

Mrs. Benson and Spencer
In the beginning, I was all, “Damnit, why does overprotective Mrs. Benson need to tag along?” But by the end of the movie, I was a total convert. She and Spencer are hilarious together. “Spencer, your towel fell off,” delivered the highest round of laughter in my household. Plus if there’s a chance she and Spencer hook up, the Freddie and Carly pairing seems less of a possibility. I swear I spent ten minutes trying to figure out how Freddie and Carly would be related if Mrs. B became Mrs. Spencer O’ Shay.

Hug
The “iGo To Japan” Sam-and-Freddie hug is quickly becoming part of Seddie canon. First Carly and Freddie hug briefly with enough space in-between for Kyoko and Yuki to fill. But when Sam reaches for Freddie, he pulls her into one of the most squeal-worthy hugs I’ve ever seen. It’s just so—strong, passionate, and dare I say manly. Sam stands on her tiptoes as they wrap their arms around each other like the world depends on it. It was sweet AND hot. This one demands an animated gif:

Post-Hug
Freddie pokes Sam playfully in the belly after their steamy hug. That’s called major flirting in my book.

THE UGLY

Uncomfortable Embrace
All around I detest Carly and Freddie hugging because it has a palpable falseness to it; like, I’m not convinced that Freddie “loves” Carly at all. Maybe it’s just faulty acting (though I try not think that because Nathan Kress is a talented lil actor), but I can’t see chemistry between the two no matter how impartial I try to be. If they got together, I can imagine it being really really awkward.

Carly and I have the same reaction to the hug. Notice how Sam’s face is strategically blocked. Probably ‘cuz it’s a hangdog expression.

Language Lessons
Spencer getting zapped in the throat every time he mispronounces a foreign word by a cardboard cutout sounds kind of funny. Except it’s not. Even though Jerry Trainor is a master as physical comedy, watching him fall to ground in pain only makes me cringe.

Charades with Security Guards
The web award audience throw their head backs with laughter as Sam and Carly try to act out all the crazy things they’ve been through. Meanwhile, I’m scratching my head wondering what’s so funny.

Poor Sam
After discovering the mud-splattered trio on a dark countryside road, Mrs. Benson babies her baby while Spencer hugs Carly. Poor Sam has no one to fuss over her, so she asks for her comforting standby: food. The girl needs a hug, I think. Specifically a strong, passionate Fredward Benson hug.

_

I’m going to assign a grade for this one because I’m in a scholastic mood. B+ for “iGo to Japan”. Plenty of Seddie moments, Spencer and Mrs. Benson running around near naked, Spencer mistaking soap for candy, and all the hilarity a loyal iCarly viewer could ask for. This, m’ dears, was definitely worth the wait. Also, I am starting an arbitrary Q&A where I answer one question for every entry. I’ll be making them up myself, but feel free to post questions too. I will pretend I am an omniscient Seddie shaman.

Q: When will Sam and Freddie get together?




A: When they grow up. Freddie has to get over his infatuation with Carly. Sam has to get over tormenting Freddie, and let it develop into playful teasing. This is why I adore the idea of the two characters together; it would mean their characters would’ve matured, evolved, and of course, it would mean lots of jumping up and down from us Seddie fans.

I love how Nathan mimics Jennette’s little “Sammi’s so cool” dance move. These two are so freakin’ cute together. I bet it’d be more than easy to bring that kind of chemistry on screen, eh, eh Dan Schneider?

SYNOPSIS
Our favorite tween trio pull yet another amazingly tech-savvy prank on their wart-faced doorman, the always curmudgeonly Lewbert. Unfortunately their exploding muffin basket prank goes awry, leaving Lewbert couch ridden and the guilty gang at his beck and call. The subplot involves Spencer taking up icky Lewbert’s post, messing around with teamsters on a CB radio, and dealing with some bratty kid. Mrs. Benson intervenes when a ceiling fan–installed by the usually handy Freddie–falls on the still convalescing Lewbert. Soon Mrs. B and Lewbert start up a flirtatious storm precipitated by talks of fish loaf and back hair. Freddie enjoys the momentary freedom by dressing like a small liberal arts college student. The he realizes how dangerous this potential pairing is (Fredward Lewbert anyone?), so the kids hatch a plan to end the really gross relationship, i.e. hurl Freddie down the stairs. On cue Mommy Dearest reverts her attention back to her baby. In the end, things are more or less back to normal. Plus annoyed truckers beat up Lewbert. Yay!

THOUGHTS
If it weren’t for a squeal-worthy hallway scene and the glances between Freddie and Sam, this episode would be filed under sucktacular. Mainly because Doorman Lewbert’s voice is up there in painful with the beaver from Winnie Pooh. Seriously. Whose bright idea was it to center the episode on him? Nails on a chalkboard, I tellsya! So what did I like? I like how:

Sam is slick
Sam, or Jennette McCurdy, slides a bit on the slippery muffin covered lobby floor when they all rush to Lewbert’s side but immediately rights herself. I would’ve been falling on my butt for sure. Otherwise the moment where Lewbert is injured and supine did nothing except make me want to retch. His wart flies off and lands on Carly’s shoe, and he wants it back?!? That totally ruined the cold pizza I was devouring.

Spencer gets close, really close, to Lewbert
Spencer making sure Lewbert’s still breathing=funny without crossing over to disgusting. Did I detect a hint of smile on Jerry Trainor’s mug as he bends down dangerously close to the Lube’s mouth? God, I hope they come out with a blooper reel.

Carly’s wardrobe has been amped up
Carly’s been wearing a lot of really cute, brightly colored skinny jeans this season. How I covet her pink jeans. And only in a tween sitcom could a character wear two hundred dollar denim while insisting she can’t afford an air conditioner.

Sam and Freddie look like a couple on a date. Even their hands are nearly brushing. Hmm, let’s crop out Carly and see what that looks like.

Kyoot! Let’s imagine those flowers are for Sam now, shall we?

Now I loved:

The Hallway Scene
So. Many. Great. Moments. Warning: perverted thoughts ahead.

-Ooo, Freddie does a little hip twirl when he greets the girls. This, along with all the innuendos, help relieve the awfulness that is Lewbert on screen.

-Freddie look a lot older when he’s not wearing silly yellow or lime green shirts. I love how granola he becomes once his mother’s attention is diverted. Is this the true Freddie or the irreverent Freddie?

-Sam calls Freddie “an animal”. Freddie REALLY seems to enjoy this description coming from her.

-The confident smirk and eyebrow raise Freddie bestows on the girls, particularly Sam, is way suggestive. It doesn’t help that he pulls up his shirt to show off his belt-free jeans, revealing the waistband of his Nickelodeon-orange boxers. And just when I thought they couldn’t push the envelope any further, Freddie adds how he slept naked save for a pair of socks. For once Sam is rendered speechless. I’m pretty sure she visualized Freddie naked. Oh, Sammy. Don’t pretend like you don’t lust after him.

-To top it all off, Sam pants Freddie.

Let’s just say I had one very NC-17 thought. I gots me a dirty dirty mind.

-Before Sam walks away, she stares at Freddie in defiance. Except in my Seddie-obsessed mind it came across more as unspoken, lingering desire.

She wants him.

I’ve uploaded the scene on Youtube cuz I love it so.

Last Names
Freddie calls Sam “Puckett”, and Sam calls Freddie “Benson” twice. Pretty sure this is a new development and may or may not carry across to future episodes. It felt very shippy though, like they were close partners in some crime show. I put this one up on utube as well:

HOW ‘BOUT THAT?
• Mrs. Benson’s first name is “Marissa”
• During their free time, Carly and Sam like to shoot arrows at a TV image of a foot.

All in all, I give this episode a 6 out of 10. The Sam and Freddie interactions were great. Here’s hoping we’ll see more in the future.